August 19, 2004
site best viewed with Internet Explorer since, like most of
the University, I have sold out to Microsoft
Admits Error in Design of Newest Addition to Rankin Science
officials have admitted a gross error in the design of the newest
part of the Rankin Science complex. In an inexplicable move, the
new building actually has the floors on the same level as the adjoining
building. Students would no longer be confuesd in navigating the
building if this error were left uncorrected.
chief, Clod Robbings, said they have two solutions to the problem.
The first would have stopped construction to allow the entire new
building to be jacked up about five feet. "This would be ridiculous,"
said Robbings in a press release. Instead, the new addition will
be left at its original elevation and the entire rest of the campus
lowered half a floor.
In a related
story, the project's contractor, Bogus Construction, said that during
the demolition of the old structure five long lost students were
found in the crevices. Rumored for years to still be trying to find
their classes, some of the students dated back to the late 1970s.
Created to Rename Positions and Departments
the continuing renaming of administrative departments, the University
has decided to create a cabinet-level position responsible for future
name changes. ASU first jumped at the opportunity to follow the
herd in renaming Personnel as "Human Resources," possibly
reflecting a previous administration's viewpoint. Recently it was
decided to rename the Purchasing department. "We found the
title too simple and straight forward," said Bill Rankings,
chief of the new Materials Management department.
to take a lead in the movement, ASU apparently decided that
Admissions is too obvious a title for a unit that, well, admits
students. "Enrollment Services sounded sufficiently confusing
for a new title." said new chief Hardly M Willing. "Besides,
there were a lot of surplus 'Services' sitting available now that
banks and insurance companies are pretending to actually have 'products'.
take on the renaming process, ASU has created the vice chancellor
of Renaming Academic Units, Sections and Educational Administrators.
To fill the position, it is planned to do a nationwide search this
year, find nobody good, and then do it all again next year.
note: while entering this article I heard a Carolina Panthers penalty
called for "encroachment" (off-sides). I think I am going
apologies to Scott Adams...
New ASU Admnistration
Threatens the Seen!
are not threatening to shut us down. Rather, they have so far only
made reasonable decisions on policy. That does not bode well for
our site. But, give them time!
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