System to Migrate to Banner
of the data base on our graduates is being moved to the Banner software
system. Banner has been such a tremendous success and smooth transition
for the financial records system that it was a no-brainer to move
the ADS. Literally.
apologies to Scott Adams...
Getting a Grip on Toilet Paper Problem
order to save money the administration made a sweet deal on toilet
paper that is slightly too long, causing its use to be a two-handed
affair. Some faculty and staff are reportedly driving home to use
their toilet because it is actually faster and easier than pulling
paper off the binding rolls at ASU. In response to the issue, the
administration has taken its usual tactic of creating a new cabinet
position to deal with the problem. The new Ass. V.C. of Concerns
Regarding A Paper Problem is onto the problem already. Speaking
via his secretary from his spacious suite, Dr. I. P. Freely said
that we will simply remove the restrooms since the staff is driving
home now anyway.
Towel Dispenser Replacement Set New Record in New Library?
staff are excited to see how soon after they move into their new
building that the paper towel dispensers will be replaced with ugly
new ones like the one shown at right in the second floor faculty/staff
restroom in CAP. Geez--you could lose your right shoulder while
trying to use the sink!
officials said they have to change paper towel vendors every year
at the whim of state contracts, forcing new dispensers to be added.
For the soap dispensers it is about the same--the scars due to the
first one being pried off are visible in the image at right, as
well. "We can't actually just find a product we like and stay
with it," said the V.C. who wished to remain anonymous. "In
fact, we make it a point to strive for a paper towel that actually
does not absorb any water at all, saving money since nobody will
actually try to use the towels."
It was noted
that the restrooms in the Administration building each have two
(yes, 2), matching paper towel dispensers.
Program So Obscurely Described Nobody can Figure Out What it Is
newly announced workshop, "Parakeet Pedagogy and Writing: The
Syllabus and Assignments," has baffled all who received the
email announcement. We at the Seen have no clue what issues of parakeetness
have anything to do with a curriculum. Program coordinator Perry
Keeter explained that many teaching activities have subtle effects
that target parakeets. See the first issue
of the Seen for a story on related concerns.
Dining Facility Takes Diet Control to a New Extreme
that a rabbit-food salad meal was not drastic enough to cut weight,
Food Services has now added a listing of low-carb items found in
the salad bar. Their next plan is to offer a water bar, with special
listings of low-carb water entrees for those really trying to cut
back. For another viewpoint on the low-carb fad, see Tom's Rants