June 28, 2006
site best viewed with Internet Explorer since, like most of
the University, I have sold out to Microsoft
has begun the construction of its new pedestrian bridge. Dubbed
"The Bridge for Nobody," since nobody will actually use
it, the project absorbed $1.6 million. For those of you in offices
in sad shape, note that the Seen has been told it was built
with R&R money.
The artist concept
at right shows that it was loosely based on a British design. It
was spearheaded by (former) Vice Chancellor of Bidness Nefariousness,
Ima Atta DeHelm.
Stairway to Heaven (or Hell...)
a few students may actually use the bridge shown above, the diminished
number of pedestrians hit by cars will be made up for by the recently
completed stairway shown below. Its apparent purpose is to direct
pedestrians from the safe tunnel at its right, to jaywalk across
Rivers Street, and meet their death.
Never Learn Department
sciences, feeling cheated by the wonderful indoor kayaking opportunities
provided to the Health Promotion office (see March
8, 2005 Seen), is adding its own flood source. Using
the same technique, they had a brick sidewalk set in a gravel filled
concrete trough that will route water toward the new steam pipes
just installed at the Science Complex.
steam project was recently completed, just before it was eligible
for National Historic Landmark status. It was also frequently mistaken
for outdoor art. It will be missed. Like a sore.
SACS to Join Newly Formed Accreditation Group
decided to withdraw from the Southern Association of Colleges and
Schools and join the newly formed Schools Unconcerned with Creditation's
Kooky Standards. This means we will save thousands of person-hours
per year by not preparing for an endless cycle of meaningless reviews,
whose reports are swiftly forgotten. Instead, we will spend the
same time actually improving our teaching.
apologies to Scott Adams...
Increases its Hourly Charges
satisfied with doubling its hourly rates, Physical Plant has increased
them again, to $100,000/man-hour. Combined with sending three times
the number of workers actually needed for a job, this means they
only need one or two jobs to cover their budget.
Uses Sting Operation to Downsize
for a way to identify staff with too much time on their hands, ASU
held a sting operation in the guise of a "Printing and Publications
Open House" last year. Offering many door prizes caused those
with nothing better to do to sign up as they entered. The emailed
list of awardees included almost 50 names. Firings have commenced.
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